Real Dudes Bros Night Man
Plot On poker night, Red, Blue and the gang all prove that manliness isn't measured in inches, but in epic tales of man-might and cocksmanship. Transcript (Red, Blue, Lord Tourettes, Raccoon and Mr. Dingleberry play poker in a round table. Red drinks a can of soda then Broseph opens the door unexpectedly.) Broseph: Yo, dudes! Guys night! This is like, crazy right? Alright. Red: What? Dude, who invited this guy? Blue: He invited himself. Red: What a mooch! (Broseph sits at the table) Broseph: So what are we playing, ladies? Uno? Blue: (grunts) Hold' em Two Cards Tanklan Buy In. Broseph: Right on, right on. So is that like Uno or what? (Drinks beer.) Red: Uno?! Real men play poker, yo! Broseph: You saying I'm not a man, bro?! I'm, like, way more manly than you! Red: Oh, yeah? Prove it, little girl. Manliest man gets the whole pot. Broseph: Ha, way easy, brah! (Broseph is shown in a gym with extremely large muscles) This one time I was, like, at the gym (Shows him benchpressing a bench), then I got down there and bench lifted, like (large barbell appears) 250 pounds! No, no, like, 250 PEOPLE, bro! (250 people are stacked up on the barbell) ''Like, stripper people ''(the people turn into strippers on a pole) It was so sick, I was like, "No big deal, I got like a good 100 reps," it was chill. (Back in real world) -And I, like, maintained a perfect boner the whole time. (Red suddenly shoots Broseph after a brief awkward silence.) Blue: Oh yeah, Well, this one time, (shows Blue playing an RPG game) I did a 24-hour dungeon crawl using no armor, no magic, and only a Level 1 sword to kill a thousand fire dragons. And then, I collected all their loot and bought a fuckin' griffen! (Griffen flies to an island full of in-game Pinks) Flew to Babe-a-lonia and had sex with all the babes in the village with my Level 12 dick, of the mighty... on a school night! Epiiic! Red: (pretendingly clearing his throat) Neerrrd. Blue: It was hecka manly, I was on a dial-up. Red: So, how aboutchu, Forest Assassin? Raccoon: (as black bars slowly close into his eyes) It was a long time ago, in ancient Japan, my country was at war and I commanded the strength of﻿ the 10,000 Hands of Justice. We were out numbered by the Takagami Demon Army, our town surrounded, I kissed my wife, for the last time, unsheathed the greatest﻿ Sword of Destiny and with it, slew ten hundred thousand hundred warriors! Honorably! After the battle was won, I shattered the blade, so its great fury may never again be used on the earth. Red: N'awwww! You're so cute, you're like a little bunny! Raccoon: Bitchel! Mr. Dingleberry: I remember back in '44... (World War II, Mr. Dingleberry is on a boat and soilders are prepared to fight while one is seasick and vomiting) when we landed in Normandy! (Red and Blue interrupt the story as Lord Tourettes looks up at the ceiling and Raccoon curls up on the bench) Red: Boooring! Blue: Oh, my God, is it over yet?! (Somber music plays as a tear comes down from Mr. Dingleberry's eye.) Red: (music ends) I gotcha you ALL beat! (Shows Red's story in a badly drawn fashion in paint maybe.) Red: This morning I downed a gallon of rubbing alcohol and got a bowl of hand grenades and firecrackers for breakfast before I went outside, built a chainsaw hanglider with barbwire and used it to cut a Siberian Tiger out in space, which I barbecued on the Sun, and after I ate its tiger ribs I scalped it, then I fought a Fire Demon from the 20th dimension and saved a monster truck full of girls and then got massaged by a thousand Brazilian supermodels on a bean bag made out of kitten fur! Lord Tourettes: (giggles) ''Well, that's... ''pretty good... Red: Ha! You have a manly story? Lord Tourettes: You bet your sweet ass! (giggles) One gay day in spring, I was just FUCKING around in a field fuuull of flowers!... Blue: (whispers to Red) This is gonna be good! Lord Tourettes: ...and colourful COCKSUCKING butterflies! I decided to make a bouquet, so I picked one-hundred daisies! It was so GODDAMN hard, but I did it! (giggles) I took the daisies to a fluffy-wuffy bear, and then I FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM WHILE I FEASTED UPON HIS WAILING BONES AND FLESH! (giggles to himself) Blue: Ugh... guess you win. Red: Big time. (Mr. Dingleberry vomits on the table) Lord Tourettes: Yippee-ki-yay, MOTHERFUCKER! I win! (Three prostotitutes come into the room) Lord Tourettes: Prostitutes! Hahaha! (One prostitute hands over a shot to Lord Tourettes, who downs it and belches with flames. The prostitutes start dancing) Lord Tourettes: Yeah, baby! Back that ass up! Hahahahaa! (while smacking the orange-pink prostitute's ass) Blue: (in shock) What have we done? -Episode ends- (After Credits) Broseph: Haha! Come at me, bro. Trivia *It is revealed that Red, Blue, Raccoon & Lord Tourettes don't like listening to Mr. Dingleberry's past stories (Broseph was killed by Red before being able to hear the story). *This is the first episode involving rape. *It is shown that Red and Blue hate Broseph (Lord Tourettes, Raccoon, and Mr. Dingleberry didn't really show any hatred toward Broseph, nor did they even glare at him when he sat down at the table). *This episode reveals that Lord Tourettes can (and will) swear even without spazzing (but that might be because of his hat since his hat is the reason why he swears). *This episode revealed that Blue likes RPG games, which also shows that he is a nerd. *This also shows that Raccoon was married since in his story he said that he "kissed his wife for the last time". *It is revealed that Lord Tourettes isn't gay even though he is slightly girly. *This is the third episode in which Broseph has appeared, and the third time that he has been killed (he was sawed in half by Red in Zombies & Shotguns, ripped in half in Butt Genie, and shot in the face by Red in this episode), which hints that he will most likely be a character that keeps coming back to life. *Other than the Bath Rhymes music video, this is the first episode with Mr. Dingleberry since Kitty Amazing and Zombies & Shotguns. *Raccoon killed ten hundred thousand hundred soldiers - 100,000,000 *Broseph has his biggest appearance on the show in this episode. *Lord Tourettes is the craziest that has ever been in this episode, and has a completely different personality once he wins the pot. *This episode reveals that Mr. Dingleberry is a World War II veteran, who took part in the 1944 U.S. storming of Omaha Beach during the Normandy Breakout Campaign. *The only reason that Lord Tourettes won the manly story competition was because of what his Tourettes' syndrome made him say. *It is unclear about what made Mr. Dingleberry throw up close to the end, though the sound of Lord Tourettes' ending might have caused him to get sick. *This episode is the second one where Red kills Broseph. *Pink does not appear in this episode, but in Blue's manly story when Blue's game sprite flies to Babe-a-lonia on the griffen, all of the women game sprites looked exactly like Pink. Even the sound effects of the women moaning sound like Pink. *It also seems that not only does Lord Tourettes' syndrome controls his words, but also his actions since his syndrome caused him to rape and eat the bear in his story. *When Red shoots Broseph, you can hear him (Broseph) saying "Whoa, dude." *Some fans agree that Red & Broseph made their stories up, which is most likely true, but knowing Red, his story was probably true, but not Broseph's. *Blue's money in the RPG GAME IS $80085, which looks like the word boobs if put into a calculator. *This episode shows that Red hates Broseph. *This is the first episode where Mr. Dingleberry does not die. Controversy Fans wanted to hear Mr. Dingleberry's story until Red and Blue stopped it knowing that it's very boring and they heard it a million times. Running Gags Auto-Tune Use None Red Floating None Episode Ending The "I"s in DICK FIGURES are replaced by two of the three prostitutes dancing. The Last Line Being Cut None Video 354px|right Category:Episodes Category:Season 3 Category:Episodes Category:Season 3